It’s Always Such A Battle!
Battle, fight and Crisis are words I try to steer clear of.
I heard that phrase, ‘It’s a battle’ all too often when my my father was ‘Battling Cancer’. The brave warriors, “It is a real fight”, “Fighting tooth and nail to get what we need.” These are words and phrases used every day by so many and I completely understand why.
Anyone who has attended an Aimee Mann Mentoring workshop or talk will know that I am passionate about NOT using those words, amongst others and trying to reframe the dialogue.
“Why?” I hear you shouting from the other side. “It IS a battle. Are you crazy?”
Well, its debatable but I function so much better when I don’t engage in this kind of destructive language. I also make sure I don’t say it in front of Freddie or Bella and Jago. Our words, are their words.
I first listened to something on Youtube a long time ago about the power of words and I remember writing about the connotations of language in one of my Uni pieces. It has always interested me but the more time I spend in the world of disability, the more I think about it.
It isn’t just that it is negative in general, it is actually harmful to you. It can change your genetic makeup.
“And the more you stay focused on negative words and thoughts, the more you can actually damage key structures that regulate your memory, feelings and emotions. You may disrupt your sleep, your appetite and they way your brain regulates happiness, longevity and health.”
“Thats how powerful a single negative word or phrase can be.”
Words Can Change Your Brain. Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman
Not using the words doesn’t take away the situation, the stress or heartbreak you are experiencing but it does help to temper it and not allow situations and feelings to ruminate and sink you deeper.
Would it surprise you to know that water exposed to loving and positive words, reacts and shapes differently to water exposed to hateful and negative words?
Dr Maseru Emoto spent many years studying this very phenomenon. He wrote about it in his book, The Hidden Messages in Water He conducted hundreds of studies where water was exposed to loving verbal communication, positive written words and beautiful music. At the point of freezing he was able to take high-speed photographs of the crystals that formed. This water produced brilliant and complicated snowflake like patterns.
On the reverse of this, the water exposed to hateful talk, negative written words & pictures and harsh music, produced incomplete, asymmetrical patterns. He was able to repeat these findings over and over again.
People are 70% water and so is the earth. Everything has a vibration. It makes perfect sense to me that the negative vibrations caused by constantly using narrative like battle, fight and crisis can ruminate and cause your body and your mind to react painfully.
Don’t get me wrong. The challenges we face in securing the services and therapies we needs for our children are huge. They can be all consuming if we let them. They can be detrimental to us and our children when it takes such a long time or doesn’t work out they way we want it to. However, looking after ourselves and building good working relationships with the people who can help facilitate what we need, is crucial. Letting go of some of the things we can’t control and that don’t serve us to getting to the place we need to, is also vital in maintaining health and well being.
Taking down the amount of negative talk has certainly helped me. xx